You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
