That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
