I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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