did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we're making bets on your personal life
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize