Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm at about main and main street
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
