So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
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I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize