Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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