the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
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