just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
