Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
