while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
