did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize