so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
