Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
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