I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
