How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
