Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
