i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
what day is it and did you see me today?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
