and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
