I can text with my tongue
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
