somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
