Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My balls are so social today.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
