He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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