Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
They are going to name an STD after you.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize