I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
