They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
