Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
