It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
