everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Dear god my vagina.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
