He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
