there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
And then the night went full on bisexual.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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