Can Purell be used as lube?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
