I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
