Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
