i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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