is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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