Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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