you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
bring money and cleavage
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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