You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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