sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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