The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
