Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize