I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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