I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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