Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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