She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
