Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
