dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
