He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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