why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
