I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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