Sry I called you an 8
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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