Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
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