remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
organizing the empties. That sober.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Randomize
