I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
