I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
