I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
