fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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