eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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