I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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