I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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