glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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