dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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